The hardest part has been retraining myself. I've always been a procrastinator. I would wait until the last minute to do anything, and then I would throw myself into the task and finish without interruption. These days I can't do that. I no longer have hours to finish reading a book, or hours to organize my photographs, or hours to workout. It's a work in progress, but I realize if I don't retrain how I do things, then nothing will ever get done, and I will lose myself in parenting. I can already feel it happening.
Just to feel like myself, I will take drives around the neighborhoods with the windows down listening and singing along to my favorite music. I'll go down random streets just to enjoy the architecture and landscape of the beautiful houses. I know that parenting is a sacrifice, but I wonder how much of myself needs to fall by the wayside. Obviously the joys of motherhood cannot be matched. Megan, from inception to now, has made me happier than I ever could have expected. But I have moments when I wonder if I'll ever have a balance between my life and hers. Will the lines always be this blurred? Is this the sacrifice that everyone speaks of?
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